Using two cows to help understand poltical parties

This post is mostly for Tim and anyone else who needs a simple way to remember how certain politcal parties work. It may or may not be the best way to understand and they even may be skewed views, but hey, it works.

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

LIBERTARIAN: You have two cows. You let them do what they want.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

ANARCHISM: You have two cows, your neighbor on your left takes one cow, and the one on the right takes the other; while your backyard neighbor takes the milk, the bucket and the stool.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.