Special sauce added to dressing

Meet Marco Raphael Castro. The Illinois high school student surrendered today to face charges resulting from a revolting lunchroom prank earlier this month. According to Wheaton police and school officials, the 17-year-old senior ejaculated into a bottle of ranch salad dressing on December 6 and returned the befouled condiment to the Wheaton North High School cafeteria. It is unclear if the dressing was used by any students before the container was cleaned and refilled the following day. Castro, pictured below in Wheaton Police Department mug shots, has been charged with disorderly conduct and attempted aggravated battery, both misdemeanors. School officials learned of the prank from students, and Principal Jill Bullo sent parents a December 14 letter informing them of the "very unusual and disgusting incident."