If only it was true

OSHKOSH, WI - The Oshkosh divorced men's rod, reel and gun club, recently squelched from passing a legal feral tabby hunting law in the state of Wisconsin, have shifted their misplaced passions and mad obsessions into the states, and the indeed the worlds, first Cat Olympics.

Divorced dad Elvis Weems elaborates :

"Well, they wouldn't let us hunt cats like we wanted, so we did the next best thing. We have over a dozen events planned this August in Oshkosh, including the tabby-hammer toss, cat fishing, cat-put, cat-a-pult and kitty-discus, to name a few! Should be exciting. We can get our rocks off in spite of the fact we can't hunt cats, so this is the next best thing!"