Friday, March 31, 2006

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This is why church's don't play dodgeball during service



A youth minister was charged with assault for allegedly
knocking a 16-year-old boy down and kicking him in the groin after taking a head shot from the teen in a dodgeball game.

David M. Boudreaux, 27, was charged Wednesday with one count of third-degree assault. According to court documents, the incident happened in February at Crescent Lake Christian Academy.

Authorities said the teen missed Boudreaux with one throw but then knocked the youth minister's glasses off with the next.
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Mother of the Year candidate

A mother confronted a neighbor who alleged raped her 7-year-old son and threatened to call police, but accepted $600 to let the man molest her son again, authorities said.

The 30-year-old unemployed mother was charged Tuesday with capital sexual battery and child abuse. The neighbor, Nicholas Quiles, 48, has been charged with capital sexual battery. Both are being held without bail.

The sexual assaults happened the first two weeks of February, Lt. Jeffrey Harrington said.
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Squirrel mischief at LSU



This comic sparked some interesting letters to the editor at The Daily Reveille. Read March
28th, 29th, 30th & finally 31st.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

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Snakes on a Plane FAQ



Everything you wanted to know about
Snakes on a Plane but were afraid to ask.
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Balloon sculptures



Click for more freakin awesome balloon sculptures
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Nice way to kill your career



Oscar-winning rappers Three 6 Mafia say they are producing and recording tracks with Paris Hilton.

"We ran into her at a William Morris Agency party and she said she liked our song `Stay Fly' and asked could we work with her," said Jordan "Juicy J" Houston, a member of the Memphis hip-hop group.

Houston said the group was in a Los Angeles recording studio Tuesday with the hotel heiress and reality TV star.
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Seriously, the kid learned absolutely nothing



Several parents in Apopka, Fla., are upset over a surprise school "Holocaust" project that some say tormented children, according to a Local 6 News report.

Local 6 News reported that eighth-graders with last names beginning with L through Z at Apopka Memorial Middle School were given yellow five-pointed stars for Holocaust Remembrance Day. Other students were privileged, the report said.

Father John Tinnelly said his son was forced to stand in the back of the classroom and not allowed to sit because he was wearing the yellow star.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

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Drexel shows their heart



Just a day before the Extreme crew got ready to say move that bus, another bus rolled in, this one full of Drexel students lending a hand, unloading furniture and helping with those finishing touches.

Kwadwo Burgee/Drexel University: "We knew the story about the family and we decided we were going to help out as much as we could."

But the Py family will soon find out they won't just have a new house to come home to but a future already paid for. Drexel will give each child a full college scholarship.
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You gotta be kiddin' me, so glad I'm moving back in 3 days



Two teenagers taunted a man rummaging through a trash bin and then killed him after he bared his buttocks at them, police said Tuesday.

"He didn't want to be harassed by these kids or whatever and he mooned them," Upper Darby Township Police Sgt. David Madonna said.

Christopher McEneaney, 16, and Andre Mark, 18, were charged Monday in the slaying Friday night of Martin Malone, 47. He was stabbed with a multi-tool and bludgeoned with a shovel.
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"I don't think the rooster's alive. Knowing my brother, he would've smashed it."



A four-year-old girl has been airlifted to hospital after a savage rooster attack left her with a collapsed lung.

"She had been pecked quite savagely on the face, the neck and it appears it did pierce her windpipe," said NRMA CareFlight helicopter spokesman, Ian Badham.

Grace Angel, who lives on a farm near Mudgee, was airlifted to Orange Base Hospital last night before being flown on to Westmead Children's Hospital in Sydney.
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Hi my name is Mike, and I like to crunch numbers... forever...



Sam used to sneak into his office before dawn so no one would know how many extra hours he worked. Charles goes on all-night work binges to meet deadlines, and Susan can't say no to volunteer projects, social clubs, bridge games, choral singing, lectures and classes.

Each one is a member of Workaholics Anonymous, a 12-step recovery program for compulsive workers based upon the structure of Alcoholics Anonymous. Each one opted to keep their identity secret.

"It's been called the addiction that society applauds," said Mike, a physician and member of the group known as WA.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

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That'll be $4,334.33, please drive up



Four burgers at his neighborhood Burger King cost George Beane a whopping $4,334.33.

Beane ordered two Whopper Jr.s and two Rodeo cheeseburgers when he pulled up to the drive-through window last Tuesday. The cashier, however, forgot that she'd entered the $4.33 charge on his debit card and punched in the numbers again without erasing the original ones — thus creating a four-figure bill.

The electronic charge went through to George and Pat Beane's Bank of America checking account and left the couple penniless. Their mortgage payment was due and they worried checks they had written would bounce, Pat Beane said.
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Looks like Arrested Development is gone for good



"Arrested Development" creator Mitch Hurwitz says he will not be continuing with the series, throwing a major -- likely fatal -- monkey wrench into attempts to keep the Emmy-winning laffer alive for a fourth season.

Series producers 20th Century Fox TV and Imagine Television had agreed on a deal to move "Arrested," previously on Fox, to Showtime -- assuming Hurwitz was willing to come back. In the end, however, a mix of creative and financial concerns has prompted Hurwitz to move on.

"The fans have been so ardent in their devotion and in return ... I've given everything I can to the show in order to try to live up to their expectations," Hurwitz told Daily Variety on Monday in a telephone interview from Gotham. "I finally reached a point where I felt I couldn't continue to deliver that on a weekly basis."
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Four people pick correct Final Four



The Final Four looks nothing like the users of ESPN.com's Tournament Challenge predicted.

More than 1.5 million people participated and of the more than 3 million entries submitted only four -- that's right, four -- picked a Final Four including Florida, George Mason, LSU and UCLA before the tournament started. Over 66 percent of entries had none of the Final Four teams correct and better than 29 percent had exactly two teams correct.

As you probably guessed, George Mason is the team that busted the most brackets. The Patriots were picked in 1,853 entries to make the Final Four, with only 677 putting them in the championship game and only 284 predicting George Mason winning the national championship. UCLA, on the other hand, got the most support -- more than 24 percent of all entries have the Bruins advancing to Indianapolis.

Monday, March 27, 2006

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The Thunderlords



The First Metal Band for Kids!

What would happen if The Wiggles met Rob Zombie backstage at a Gwar concert and decided to form a band together? I'm not really sure, but I'd bet they would sound a lot like The Thunderlords! The Thunderlords play loud, heavy music with goofy, fun lyrics that everyone can enjoy. Except those looking for some peace and quiet. Warning: This is not the album you want to play at naptime!
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Students expelled for bowl of poop



A student who defecated in a lunchroom bowl triggered a series of events that culminated in the recent walkout by four workers in the Fort Defiance High School cafeteria, The News Virginian has learned.

In all, five students were suspended or expelled from the Verona school - including two whose mothers worked in the cafeteria and who were defending their mothers’ honor.

It all began Feb. 9 when two Fort students - including a guidance counselor’s son - bet a third student $15 he would not defecate in a bowl.
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Science stuff you got wrong at school



Water IS blue, not just because of the sky

Many believe that lakes and oceans are blue "only" because they reflect the blue sky. Actually water looks blue because water is blue; the water molecules do absorb some light, and they absorb red frequencies more than blue. The effect is small, so the blue color only becomes obvious when observing layers of water many meters (or more) thick. (This effect is noticeable to a lesser amount in white-painted swimming pools.) In salt water or mineral-laden fresh water, the color of dissolved minerals can also be seen.

Sky-reflection does play a role, but only when the water surface is very calm, and only when the water is observed at a glancing angle less than approximately ten degrees.

(more)

Thursday, March 23, 2006

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Biathlon - Philly style

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Gunshot wounds are common in Philadelphia, so our "world renowned" surgeons get lots of practice



The doctors huddled over the boy, making futile attempts to save him.

He was 14, and he'd been shot in the eye.

Linda Lennstrom, a 28-year-old surgery resident from Sweden,
stood off to the side at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania last week as doctors lifted the boy's slender limbs, looking for wounds. She was watching one of the few gunshot victims she is likely to see in her career.
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Catch the greased up guy with the nunchucks



Police in Charleston say a naked man exposed himself to his neighbor, then later attacked officers with nunchucks.

Police say 49-year-old Rudolph Claude Smith went next door to his neighbor's house to borrow some oil for a workout. While he was in the neighbor's home, police say Smith took off his clothes and asked the neighbor to "oil him up."

According to a police report, Smith attacked officers with nunchucks when they came to his home to make an arrest. They also say the oil made it hard for them to get a good grip on him.
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So what do you do with all those holes?

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About three hours into the world record-setting event, 21-year-old Matt Robison sat still, piercings poking up and down his arm as one of his bigger tattoos, the red-inked phrase "Don't Ever Judge Me," faced toward onlookers.

"When I told people I was going to do this, most of the time they looked at me like I'm crazy. They don't think I'll do it," Robison said.

But he did. Robison, an apprentice piercer at The Pit Studio in Ottawa, set a world record Saturday by getting
pierced 1,016 times in one sitting.
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Orlando is full of bird crap



Signs warning of bird droppings were posted along a stretch in downtown Orlando this week after cars, benches, sidewalks, plants and even people are hit and covered by the white bird waste, according to a Local 6 News report.

The problem began when city workers removed cypress trees on "
bird island" at Lake Eola in Orlando.

The trees had to be removed because the bird droppings were polluting the water, according to the report.
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A missing Stradivarius returns after 21 years



The instrument, which dates from 1725, had disappeared from the Dallas Symphony Orchestra in 1985.

The violin resurfaced when it was put up for sale at auctioneers Bonhams, which struck a deal with the vendor to see it returned to the orchestra.

Instruments made by Antonio Stradivari
are renowned for their resonance.
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Your life saved, 30 minutes or less, guaranteed... or else free movie tickets



A hospital is promising emergency room patients they'll be seen by a doctor in 30 minutes or less -- or else receive an apology and free movie tickets.

Shortening emergency room waiting times is part of a hospital-wide initiative aimed at improving patient care, said Pam Hash, administrative director of emergency services at the newly opened St. Francis Medical Center. The free movie tickets were the marketing department's idea.

"
One of the big dissatisfiers for patients is the wait time they spend in the emergency department," Hash said.
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Death penalty for child molesters



State senators are considering a proposal that would
allow South Carolina to execute those convicted two or more times of sexually assaulting children.

The amendment came as the Senate took up sexual offender legislation crafted in response to a Florida girl kidnapped and killed last year and a week after a Hartsville man was charged with abducting two girls to an underground shelter and assaulting them.

Currently, South Carolina prosecutors can only seek the death penalty for murder with aggravating circumstances. If the proposed amendment by Sen. Kevin Bryant of Anderson passes, South Carolina would join Louisiana as the only other state to allow the death penalty for an offense other than murder, senators said.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

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Streets of the Philadelphia - filled with cowards and those that fear them



Don't get me wrong. I love Philly. I love the people, the food, and the hussle and bussle of city life. And I'm well aware of the dangers that lie within. But in all the time I've spent traveling to and living in the City of Brotherly Love, I've never felt uncomfortable to walk the streets alone (day or night). So naturally it bothers me that I'm leary of taking night classes this term because of the new favorite hobby of the population. It seems like the cool thing to do this year is kill each other.

As of last week there had been
78 homicides since the start of 2006. Since then there's been a few more shootings and even a surge of five shootings yesterday. That puts us at a little over one homicide per day since the new year started. We won't even go into the number of non-fatality shootings and assaults.

The thing is, no one has an answer.
The police have been clueless since day one. Parents still have no control over their kids. At this moment Philadelphia is like an every man for himself, no hold barred, hardcore, table and ladder match. Anything goes.

So yeah, I called the thugs and criminals that go around killing people cowards. It's not like it's an original thought. The only real reason someone resorts to crime is because they're too lazy and scared to go out and do things the right way. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has the ability to choose the right path and the wrong path. If you choose to go down the wrong path you're just afraid to go down the right path.

Parents you're not off the hook yet. If your kid doesn't know that hurting/killing someone is bad by the time they're in kindergarten, then you as a parent have not done your job. To be blunt, you have failed as a parent. Seriously, kids pushing people in front of buses, fights breaking out in schools, juveniles attacking adults... that's unbelievable. They try to show the world they have no fear. And it's true, they have no fear of any consequences what so ever. Why? It's not tv. Television isn't responsible for telling them to brush their teeth. It's not the school systems. They're not the ones that are supposed to make sure they change their underwear everyday. The only ones that have such a direct impact to their child's growth are the parents.

But then again, maybe it's just me. Maybe I don't know how the world operates. Maybe there's supposed to be death, destruction and chaos. Maybe it's true, that you have not fully lived until you have experienced
love, poverty, and war. But I've always been told that personal integrity is more important than money, power or fame. In Atlas Shrugged, the character John Galt says, "I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine." People should live their own lives and not rob others of theirs.

NOTE: Sorry that this is so poorly written. One, it's just pure rambling. And two, I have a pounding migraine.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

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Amazing butterfly of the day

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Greta oto is a brush-footed butterfly, and is a member of the clearwing clade; its wings are transparent. Its most common English name is glasswing, and its Spanish name is espejitos, which means "little mirrors." Indeed, the tissue between the veins of its wings looks like glass. It is one of the more abundant clearwing species in its home range, which extends throughout Central America into Mexico. The opaque borders of its wings are dark brown sometimes tinted with red or orange, and its body is dark in color. Its wingspan is between 5.5 and 6 cm.
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Saddest movie ever: Helen the Baby Fox

From Variety:

Seven-year old Taichi (Arashi Fukasawa) is shunted to the remote Hokkaido home of a veterinarian (Takao Osawa) when his camerawoman mom travels on a Pacific photographic assignment. Feeling neglected, the tyke takes pity on a deaf, blind, mute fox he names after Helen Keller. This guardian role teaches Taichi about parental responsibilities and sharpens his appreciation of his career mom's duty to make a living for both their benefits.

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Snorting wasabi



Seriously... why???
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Little girl afraid of her own shadow

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Cat falls 80 ft.



A South Carolina kitty used up a few lives this week.

After more than a week in a tree, the cat is back on earth.

But it wasn't exactly the way Piper's owners hoped he would come down,
but the good news is he is ok.

Click for
video footage.
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Brokeback Mountain parodies



Spend the next hour or so watching all the
Brokeback Mountain parodies. If you're here, it's not like you're doing anything better.
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But do you get a free t-shirt?



A pizzeria is vying for a spot in Guinness World Records for the world's largest commercially available pizza. The $99, 150-slice pizza isn't a one-time deal. In fact, The Big One is already available, though Mama Lena's Pizza House has had few takers so far.

The would-be recordsetter measures about 3 feet by 4 1/2 feet and takes up nearly all the space in the shop's brick oven.

The current record holder is a 4-foot diameter pizza offered by Paul Revere's Pizza in Mount Pleasant, Iowa. Dubbed
the Ultimate Party Pizza, it uses more than 10 pounds of dough, 48 ounces of sauce and about five pounds of cheese.
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Update: Issac Hayes & South Park



Isaac Hayes did not quit "South Park." My sources say that someone quit it for him.

I can tell you that Hayes is in no position to have quit anything. Contrary to news reports, the great writer, singer and musician suffered a stroke on Jan. 17.
At the time it was said that he was hospitalized and suffering from exhaustion.

It’s also absolutely ridiculous to think that Hayes, who loved playing Chef on "South Park," would suddenly turn against the show because they were poking fun at Scientology.
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Another "Father of the Year" nominee



A 45-year-old man in Cedar City, Utah, is accused of using electric dog shock collars to discipline his two children, according to a Local 6 News report.

Police said Scott Dover put dog shock collars on his 6-year-old twin boys and when they would get out of hand, he would give them a jolt.

"It was strange," Cedar City police Sgt. Jerry Womach said. "I've never heard of anything like that before. I've seen lots of worse child abuse.
It was just so strange."
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Please keep off the grass... or die



Irritated but calm, Charles Martin called 911 and told the dispatcher that he had finally done something about the neighbor boy -- the one, Martin said into the phone, who had been harassing him for years.

"
I just killed a kid," Martin said, according to a recording of the Sunday afternoon call released by police in Union Township, near this city about 20 miles east of Cincinnati.

Martin, 66, is charged with murdering 15-year-old Larry Mugrage, who lived next door to the house where Martin kept a meticulous front lawn with grass that he could sometimes be seen measuring to the inch.

Monday, March 20, 2006

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Tiny Toons - Particle Man

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South Park: Trapped in the Closet

Tom Cruise recently got the scientology episode of South Park pulled off the air. Let's see him get it off the internet. BTW, new episodes start this Wednesday.

Friday, March 17, 2006

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Safety at work: Oh noes!

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Dr. Katz clip where Jim Gaffigan talks about manatees

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What a great introduction - I'm not even going to attempt to find a picture for this one

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury,
with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.
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Teen expelled for brokeback-type movie



West Linn High School student Brandon Flyte told the world on his Web site that he was expelled for leaving a homosexual "snuggle scene" in a class film project.

It wasn't true, and now the teen is in real trouble with school officials because of the resulting turmoil surrounding his claim.

"He has disrupted the school. This is clearly a behavior we don't find acceptable," said West Linn-Wilsonville Superintendent Roger Woehl.

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St. Patrick's Day in Philadelphia



When William Penn set out more than three centuries ago to create Philadelphia, he couldn't have imagined how much his "
Green Country Towne" would be shaped by the Emerald Isle.

Ties to Ireland are seen in the city's St. Patrick's Day observances, dating back to 1771, and in ceremonies at the Irish Memorial at Penn's Landing depicting An Gorta Mor, the great Irish famine of the mid-1800s.

They are remembered in the statues and Celtic graveside crosses honoring Irish military heroes and political leaders; in the traditional music, food and drink at local Irish pubs and restaurants; and in massive public works such as the Commodore Barry and Platt Memorial Bridges, named after Irish-born heroes of the American Revolution and Civil War.
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Philadelphia involved in funeral home scandal



The room smelled of death, with dried blood on the floor. An aged body with a medical bracelet lay on a stainless- steel operating table in the dirty, small space.

This was not a sterile hospital room, which is where a technician normally would remove donated body parts to be used in patients in need of dental implants, spinal surgeries and joint replacements.

But it was there, inside a back room of the Louis Garzone Funeral Home, on East Somerset Street near Ruth in Kensington, that a former employee of a now-closed New Jersey biomedical company said he chopped apart dozens of corpses for their spines, veins, tendons and bones.

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The World's Most One-Sided Fist Fights



First time I saw this on Robot Chicken I couldn't stop laughing.
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Cow cruelty



A man who police say tried to corral a cow with his van Wednesday has been charged with animal cruelty.

Roberto Cruz, of Hialeah, was rounding up the cows with his Chevrolet van on a plot of land on Red Road near Florida's Turnpike in Miramar so he could take them to another location.

Police said Cruz
smacked into several cows in the process and pinned one of them against a fence.
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St. Patrick's Day across the US



As millions across the globe prepare to celebrate Ireland's national holiday, nowhere are the celebrations more lavish than in the United States, where everyone, including the president, goes green for St Patrick's Day.

From the town of Savannah, Georgia, to San Francisco in California, without forgetting Boston and New York, where the Irish have left an indelible mark, beer will be flowing freely at pubs Friday while parties and parades have been organized to toast the shamrock.

Many of the country's Irish bishops
have given their parishioners special one-day dispensation from Lenten rules that prohibit Roman Catholics from eating meat on Friday.
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Gym teacher pulls knife on lazy student

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A Queens high school gym teacher has been accused of threatening two female students with a knife after they refused to take part in an exercise.

Mark Omeltchenko is accused of putting a kitchen knife to the forearms of two teenage girls at Aviation High School.
Police say neither girl was hurt.

One of the girls says the teacher put the dull side of the knife to her arm and then held it flat.
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Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Daoibh



I may look asian but I celebrate St. Patrick's Day with the best of them. I mean come on, with a name like Hennessey it doesn't get much more Irish unless they named me Michael Patrick O'McIrish. And I love my corned beef and colcannon. Tabhair póg dom, is Éireannach mé.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

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Must Love Jaws

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Street wars



...your (or your team's) mission is to find and kill (by way of water gun, water balloon or super soaker) your target(s).

You can hunt your target down any way you see fit; you can pose as a delivery person and jack them when they open the door, disguise yourself and take them out on the street, etc.

If you are successful in your assassination attempt, the person you killed will give you their envelope and the person they were supposed to kill becomes your new target. This continues until you work yourself through all the players and retrieve the envelope with your (or your team's) picture(s) and name(s). Then you win. Cash...
but first live in fear.
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Republicans shocked by Jessica's rejection



The apparent final word that Simpson would be a no-show at a major Republican fund-raiser with Bush and congressional leaders Thursday night came after a day of conflicting reports from her camp and organizers of the event.

The blond star of the film "The Dukes of Hazzard" still plans to visit Washington Thursday to lobby members of Congress on behalf of Operation Smile, a non-profit venture offering free plastic surgery for disadvantaged children overseas with facial deformities.

People close to Simpson said
she declined a request to appear that same evening at the gala fund-raiser of the National Republican Congressional Committee -- even after she was offered some private face time with Bush -- because Operation Smile is a non-partisan group.
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The 666 Rail

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In honor of the start of the tournament



Villanova basketball star Allan Ray had his eyeball literally
poked out of its socket by an opposing player in a recent game. Ray has been treating the injury with eye drops, and he planned to meet with doctors to find out if he can play in the first round of the NCAA tournament. What should you do if your eyeball comes out of your head?
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Upping the ante



It foiled even the doughnut-eating champion of the world.

Dave "Coon Dog" O'Karma can eat 80 doughnuts in under six minutes, but even he couldn't manage
a 15-pound cheeseburger.

Concocted by the chefs at
Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, the burger might help the pub defend its Guinness Book of World Records status as the restaurant with the world's biggest hamburger.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

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Better off naked



Paul Kuschel would have been better off naked - like many of the folks at Sunnier Palms Nudist Park. Instead, he was wearing a pair of nylon shorts Sunday when a generator he was working on backfired and sprayed him with starter fluid, setting him ablaze.

"I would have been better off wearing nothing on at all," Kuschel told Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers. The fire seared his shorts to his backside.

"
It's a good thing I wasn't wearing a shirt," he said.
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Happy Ides of March



In the Roman calendar the Ides of March fell on the 15th day of the Roman month of Martius. The word ides comes from a Latin word that means to divide. The ides is simply the middle of the month.

Although the Roman calendar was eventually displaced by the modern days of the week around the 3rd century, the Ides continued to be used in a vernacular sense for centuries afterwards. When Shakespeare wrote the famous line "Beware the Ides of March!" in his play Julius Caesar in 1599, he did so in the reasonable assumption that his audience would know the date of Caesar's death and so have a good idea of what the Ides were.

The date is famous because
Julius Caesar was assassinated on the Ides of March, 44 BC. Because of Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar and its line “Beware the Ides of March”, the Ides of March has had a sense of doom. But in Roman times the Ides of March was simply the normal way of refering to March 15.
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Pancake breakfast delays the end of WWII



Whenever someone mentioned pancakes, without fail Thomas E. Jones would immediately think of Harry Truman.

It's an odd word association for sure, but it's understandable given
Jones' unusual place in our nation's history.

On Aug. 14, 1945, Jones, a 16-year-old messenger in Washington, D.C., was entrusted to deliver to the White House the cable announcing Japan's surrender to the United States to end World War II.
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Man tries to smuggle in billion dollar bills



The counterfeit money looked good, but there was one flaw. There's no such thing as a one billion dollar bill.

U.S. Customs agents in California said on Tuesday they had found 250 bogus billion dollar bills while investigating a man charged with currency smuggling.

Tekle Zigetta, 45,
pleaded guilty to three federal counts of trying to bring cash, phony bills and a fake $100,000 gold certificate into the United States in January.
0 comments

Testicle festival - the non-brokeback version



It's not a festival for the faint of heart.

But organizers of the 15th annual Mountain Oyster Fry -- known among Virginia City locals as the "testicle festival" -- say Saturday will be filled with good food and fun.

"They're all officially known as 'gonadologists,'" Jett Aguilar, chairwoman of this year's cookoff said of the participants, "
and they actually think that's just great."
 

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